In a funk.

Well, we had an overall good day as a family. I had class this morning but after class I visited some garage sales and found some good deals on a few things and then came home to relax a bit before heading off to Arctic Playgroundz for a birthday party. The kids had so much fun and Marshy was walking while holding onto a small shopping cart, it was just awesome to see him go. :) I'm very proud of my little man. I only managed to catch a small video of him walking. Liam seemed to of had a ton fun aswell.
We got home a tad after 5pm and went next door for a small get together they were having, I don't really know why but I just instantly got depressed when we got home. It's been really bugging me. I haven't been able to eat, drink, sleep, nothing. I have a strong nagging feeling that someone close to me is passing away soon, and to make it worse I keep getting signs that say "dad/father". Now the question is my dad? Duston's dad? Duston? :( I don't like this, not one bit. It's eating me up inside and I can't even get myself out of this funk I'm in. If I could I would go cry myself to sleep in hopes I'd feel better,but it's not going to. All I can do is wait and see, perhaps it's nothing at all.
Duston is outside right now (11pm) drinking with the neighbors, I didn't feel up to joining in on the fun. I mostly felt like being alone so I took a relaxing shower and got in my nightgown and robe to plop on the couch awaiting the bad news. I've always been the type of person that expects the worse in everything, I guess it makes any good news that much sweeter. I don't really know why I do it.
Well I guess I'll get back to sitting around pondering the what if's as to why I feel this way. Goodnight.
-V